the chess master
by Heavy Mole2
Summary: a work of satire inspired by "May the Best Pet Win". a chess tournament at Ponyville Elementary happens to attract Rainbow Dash's attention... also, Scootaloo gets attacked at school.


the chess master

**I**

"Yeah... so... oh, Rarity and I were playing chess last week, I think," Rainbow Dash suddenly remembered. She was lying on a picnic blanket with her friends, "you know, the important ones," she might reply if asked on a separate occasion.

Rarity, who was present, seemed uninterested in joining the conversation.

"I was doing pretty good, I think..." Rainbow Dash continued, making an unsuccessful attempt at eye contact with her aloof pal. "...Considering it was my first time, basically," she hastened to add. "And that checkmate, man, I just didn't see it _coming_!"

"...Isn't that usually how it works?" asked Twilight.

"You know what I did wrong?" Rainbow Dash near-shouted in reply; she roused herself into a sitting position and turned to face Rarity. "I'm good with rooks," she explained, "but I lost them early in the game. You probably knew that about me, and got them away from me early," she said with a shrug. "See, if I had known about _castling _- that's what it is, right? When you switch the king and rook?"

She waited for the reply. Rarity offered a noncommittal "yes" - she was trying desperately to avoid talking to Rainbow Dash about chess rules.

"And you can only do that at, like, the beginning of the game, right?"

Rarity, somewhat laboriously, replied: "you can do it as long as there are no pieces between them, and you haven't moved either the rook or the king." She was about to mention that this could also be done on the queen's side, but checked herself so as not to protract the discussion.

"So the rook goes where the king was, _and_...?" the inquiry continued.

Rarity considered whether it would be better to answer truthfully or to let Rainbow Dash have a slightly flawed understanding of castling, on the off-chance it would put an end to her questions. But, being such a generous friend: "no..." she sighed, "the rook goes where the bishop begins, and the king goes where the knight begins."

"Okay... yeah! see, if I had known about that, I probably would have won," Rainbow Dash said confidently. "It's really the beginning of the game that's hard for me," she went on. "I'm like a venereal disease. you don't notice me at first, but I creep up on ya. And by the time you realize what's going on, there's nothing you can do," she grinned, quite satisfied with this assessment of her cunning playing strategy.

"But Rainbow," Fluttershy interposed, "I thought you said you'd never played chess before?"

"Well, I used to be in chess club way back in fourth grade," she replied. "My uncle was like a master, and would coach me sometimes. But that was a long time ago, so it's basically like starting over."

"Oh."

"Yep..." Rainbow suddenly turned serious. "Ya know, I was thinking after that game with Rarity... maybe it's time I got back into it. It's in my blood. I would probably be one of the greatest players of all time if I set my mind to it."

"Hey Rainbow, do you want to play chess right now?!" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Eh..." she pondered the suggestion for a moment, then folded her arms. "I have to be in the right mood."

"...But Scootaloo!" implored an approaching voice, "Ya just gotta compete! You _know_ what a great way this could be for us to get our cutie marks!"

Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle trotted up to the picnic blanket.

"Ugh, sorry girls," Scootaloo replied, nursing her right shoulder. "The doctor said I'm gonna have to go easy on this shoulder for a couple weeks. You two should go on without me," she said in a sad hue.

"Girls, go play somewhere else," Twilight interrupted, shooing them with a hoof. "You _know_ not to disturb us when we're discussing important matters."

"...But you're always discussin' important matters!" Applebloom protested.

"Um..." Sweetie Belle intervened, "what she means to say is, maybe you guys can help us with something..."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "...Ugh! Fine, _what's the problem_?" she asked, condescending to listen to them.

"Yes, don't keep us in suspense, girls," Rarity joined in.

"Well," Scootaloo stepped forward, "I guess it would be best to start at the beginning." She cast glances at Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, who both gave a nod to proceed.

_"A couple days ago in school, Ms. Cheerilee told us she had a special announcement to make at the end of class."_

"Okay, okay, settle down!" Cheerilee's voice chimed over the murmuring classroom. "I know you're all excited to get home, but I wanted to hang on to you for an extra moment to talk about something important..." She went behind her desk and pulled a stack of papers from the top drawer. "Last night I finished grading your Celestial History tests..."

Cheerilee took a piece of chalk and wrote the number '88' on the blackboard.

"...And I wanted to say... how _proud_ I am of all of you! -guess what the class average was...?" she beamed, drowned out by the excited chatter of the children.

_"...We all had a good chuckle over that one. But, as a vagrant pony with no family and fewer prospects," Scootaloo added here, "you can imagine this was the sort of thing that _I _looked forward to with a particular kind of... ' fervor'."_

"The key to remembering all of her ex-boyfriends," Scootaloo expounded for Applebloom, "is that their initials can _actually_ be organized into a mnemenic spelling of 'sonic rainboom'."

It took a moment before the class had settled down enough for Cheerilee to resume. "I am _very_ happy about this! and I wanted to give you all a special reward for your hard work." She trotted over to an easelad with a bath towel draped over it. "So, I'm thrilled to announce...

"...The first ever Ponyville Elementary chess tournament!" she proclaimed, unveiling a poster advertising the event.

_"Of course, the girls and I were ready to burst into song right there," remarked Scootaloo. "The best pastime in the history of pastimes, made into an official competition?"_

_"What a way _that _would be to earn our cutie marks," mused Sweetie Belle._

_"The ideas were just pourin' from our heads!" Applebloom burst out, flailing her forehooves in the air._

"D'ya hear that, girls?" Applebloom nudged her companions amidst the commotion caused by Cheerilee's unprecedented announcement. "Why, we could get our cutie marks for bein' the best chess players in our class!"

"Or," Sweetie Belle carried the thread, "maybe we could do a totally awesome job at _promoting_ the event! Imagine- a flank every eighteen inches! We could make posters and flyers..."

"...And have press contacts!" Applebloom came back. "I know some folks... my sister's _always_ windin' up in the newspapers for her shenanigans!"

"What about _facilitating_ the event?" Sweetie Belle suggested. "I'm sure they'll need lots of help organizing, making sure there are enough chairs and chessboards, and things like that."

"Good idea," chirped Applebloom.

Scootaloo was only half-engaged with her friends' conversation; she envisioned herself, with bold certainty, the winner of Cheerilee's tournament, from the moment of the inception of its idea. All that remained was to decide variables - the least impolitic way to spread news of the big day, and how to handle success with tact, and the like.

"Scootaloo," Applebloom turned to her friend, "why don't you enter the tournament for the three of us?" she asked sweetly.

"Oh... who, me?" Scootaloo started, pulled out of her reverie - her fanciful notions suddenly evaporated. "Nah, I'm not that great... Maybe I'd be better at making sure we have enough chess sets."

"Well, you're definitely the best player out uh the three of us!" Applebloom insisted.

"...You really think so?"

Sweetie Belle nuzzled her on the cheek. "We _know_ it."

"_You're_ the one with talent," Applebloom entreated her. "Why, remember that time Diamond Tiara was makin' fun uh me for livin' on a farm, and talkin' funny, and you stepped in and beat someone at chess right in front of her?"

"You sure showed her!" chuckled Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo blushed. "Ah, I was just doing what anyone else would have done..."

"So will ya do it?" pressed Applebloom; Sweetie Belle joined her supplicating gaze.

Scootaloo smiled. "Well... there_ are _some pretty sweet variations on the Caro-Kann Defense I've been meaning to try out."

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle beamed and corralled Scootaloo into a group hug.

"Ew... do you guys have to do that sissy stuff here?" Scootaloo squirmed, feeling fortunate to have such supportive friends.

_"As if the possibility of discovering our purpose in life in the most fun way imaginable wasn't enough incentive, Ms. Cheerilee told us that the winner would be immortalized in a beautiful stained-glass portrait in the Canterlot Castle ballroom," Scootaloo went on._

_"Pfft, big deal," scoffed Rainbow Dash. "I've already been up there twice in the last eight months - MAYBE even a third time," she interjected, "but I don't know because I gave them my gmail which I like never check."_

_"Also, Ms. Cheerilee said that..."_

"...The winner will be declared chess _master_ of Ponyville Elementary!"

Dash raised a curious eyebrow. "Chess... _master_... ?"

"Phew! I don't know about you_ kids_," Cheerilee panted, "but all this excitement is making it so _hot_ in this room! Maybe if I... _crack a window_... we can cool off a little, hmm...?"

This seemed like a peculiar offer to make on such a tepid afternoon, the children thought; and Ms. Cheerilee certainly seemed very peculiar in the blithe and teasing way she grinned as she made her way to the window.

She threw open the glass. "Ah, _that's_ better!"

A pleasant breeze passed in; then, a sibilant warble, like a mosquito whisping near one's ear, could be perceived in the distance; panic started to take the students as the warbling escalated into a high-pitched whistle, now approaching their vicinity with the velocity of a large combustion engine.

"...A-a-anyone else hear that?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously.

"...Anyone else _feel_ that!" Scootaloo startled, pointing at the micro chess set she and Sweetie Belle had been using to maintain to a private match throughout the school day - the pieces were jittering across the board.

"I r-r-really don't know w-w-what you k-kids are talking ab-b-b-out..." Cheerilee assured them.

"Scramble!" cried Applebloom, which is what she and her classmates did; they sought cover under desks and in rattling cabinets, and in whatever other places they could find, as the missile approached impact - a burst of exhaust heat signaled its arrival, bellowing up stationery and tearing student artwork asunder from the walls in a violent uproar. As the dust cleared, a frigid silence prevailed about the children, until one of the students turned his attention outward to scout the scene.

"Hey, er, uh... look everyone!" drawled Snails, "it's Spitfire!"

"Hey, kids!" she waved, hovering in the air. she turned to Cheerilee. "Sorry Ms. Cheerilee, but it's about to get _hotter_ in here!"

"Oh, I suppose I'll just have to make do!" she replied coyly.

_"The WONDERBOLTS!?" wailed Rainbow Dash, springing into a loop-the-loop. "You gotta be freaking KIDDING me!"_

_"STUNNED..." Applebloom held up her forehooves to demonstrate her astonishment. "...STUNNED..."_

_"Yeah, Ms. Cheerilee really pulled out all the stops for this one," Scootaloo acceded._

"Ms. Cheerilee told me you guys were having a chess tournament and I had to take a moment out of my busy schedule to stop by," Spitfire briefed the class as she touched ground. She waited as the room buzzed with Wonderbolt lore and brags of previous encounters from the children. "You know, I used to want to be a chess master as a filly," she said at last.

The class assumed a respectful silence.

She nodded. "It's true. I didn't quite have what it took, but I wanted it _so bad_..." she laughed, casting her mind back to a time now long-past. "Well... life doesn't always turn out the way you expect it to," she said with a nostalgiac grin, "but I can tell you that if it weren't for my initial drive for chess stardom, I may never have had the guts to try out for the Wonderbolts!"

The students chattered in appreciation for Spitfire's admission; Scootaloo, who was ostensibly motionless, quietly marveled at it.

"I'm always looking for ways to support up-and-coming chess prodigies," Spitfire went on, "and I'm pumped to hear about your upcoming tournament! In fact..." she smirked, drawing the children in, "what if I told you..."

They leaned in closer...

"...That I want to give the winner..."

Unblinking eyes widened in anticipation...

"...A personal ride with me, blazing across the skies of Equestria?"

They were lost foals - the crumbling classroom could barely contain the paroxysm of stomping hooves and screeching voices that followed, which Spitfire understood as marking the accomplishment of her mission - she glanced at the lightning bolt decal on her wrist. "Well, looks like it's time for me to _bolt_," she quipped, preparing for take-off. "Just remember, kids, that following your dreams-" here she donned her flight goggles - "...is the only gambit worth playing."

A plumage of electric smoke rose up and choked the classroom as Spitfire made a thunderous departure.

_A quiet utterance passed Rainbow's lips. "Oh man..." Then suddenly, " I mean, I'm not jealous of some stupid kiddie tournament!" she declared, resuming her boisterous speaking voice._

_"Why, when did anyone accuse you of such a thing, Rainbow?" returned Fluttershy._

_"Uh . . . yeah! Exactly! I have much cooler things to do than meddle in some chess competition at an elementary school," she vaunted. _

_Scootaloo continued. "Oh, and also..."_

"We have a new student!" Cheerilee announced. "Class, I'd like you to give a warm, Ponyville Elementary welcome to - Gilda!"

_"Oh, WHAT?!" barked Rainbow Dash. "Like, the _griffin_ Gilda?"_

_"Wait, you know her?" puzzled Sweetie Belle._

_"Gilda is Rainbow Dash's ex-best friend turned arch-nemesis," Rarity explained. "Or at least, that's what they tell me," she shrugged._

_"The plot thickens..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin, pondering aloud. "Thickens indeed..."_

The door flung open and clattered against the wall, and in stepped Gilda. She took a moment to size-up the class before smirking superciliously and asking, "So where's the sign-up sheet for this, uh... little competition?"

"Right here!" sang Cheerilee, pushing a clipboard forward with her snout.

"Heh, thanks..." Gilda cleared a path through the rubble and snatched the pen, proceeding to etch her name onto the sheet as the class offered up a polite round of applause.

"Now, I'll leave you guys alone so you can get acquainted," Cheerilee said with a chipper smile as she made her way to the door, "and because I know you'll all want to _brush up _on your skills for the big tournament!" she signed-off,_ à la _Porky Pig, making her exit.

"...Ya know," Gilda began after the door had shut, "when Cheerilee first told me about this tournament, I have to admit - I was _intrigued_," she related, leaning an elbow on the teacher's desk. "About time there was a little excitement in this town," she sneered as she whisked her tail around Cheerilee's teacher's apple and craned it into one of her leathery mits. She buffed it on her down as she went on: "but when she told me about the prizes at stake, I told her, that I_ groove _on a little chess competition..." she went to take a bite of the apple, but stopped. "Oh, I bet you think you have the upper-hand. After all, when I left, Pinkie Pie told me that I would... _never amount to anything_," she recounted with a droll grin, breaking off for a moment to gaze at her reflection on the apple. "...But make no mistake-" she resumed in a low voice - "I'm back to _win_. _I'm_ going in that glass portrait;_ I'm _getting that ride from Spitfire; and_ I'm _going to be chess master of Ponyville Elementary! ...and none of you_ gnarly dragon eggs _are going to stand in my way..."

She crammed the apple down her gullet, devouring it in one bite.

_"Yeah, way to go on that one, Pink," Rainbow Dash chided her._

_Pinkie Pie took a puff from her bubble pipe, and meditated on the subject. "I was in a weird place that day."_

The children kept quiet, horrified by the immense griffin's threatening intimations.

"Now would be a good time to get Ms. Cheerilee...!" Sweetie Belle urged Applebloom in a whisper.

"Ah'm _tryin'_!" the latter replied, "but she turned her cell phone off!"

Scootaloo, by a mixture of experience and pride, was undaunted by Gilda's fierce pretense: "we'll see how tough she is when she gets behind the sixty-four," she thought.

Gilda had begun to amble out into where the student's desks were arranged. "_Rapidplay_ is my game! the speed! the adrenaline!" She clenched a talon in a show of gusto. "The rush of hammering the chess clock during a turbo barrage from your tactic tricktionary!"

Scootaloo bristled at Gilda's bluster, and motioned forward, intending to rebut; however, her friends, who understood her sensibilities, prevented her.

"Now, Scoot..." reproved Applebloom.

"Let it go, Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle pleaded, gently restraining her friend by the shoulder. "You don't want to make a bad situation _worse_, do you?"

"That's how we do it on the mean streets!" Gilda declared, continuing on. "but I'm guessing you dweebs here in _Flipflopville_ would wet your prams at the thought of that kind of time control," she chrotled. "I'll show you that you don't need brains to be a chess master - just quick reflexes and a hunger for action!"

This final boast delivered Scootaloo from all sense of prudence; ignoring her friends' cautions, she retorted: "_playing rapid chess, one can lose the habit of concentrating for several hours in serious chess. that is why, if a player has big aims, he should limit his rapidplay in favor of serious chess_."

The room froze.

"My grandfather used to tell me that before he would tuck me in at night... after long afternoons spent analyzing lines of opening play," she added.

Gilda nodded thoughtfully on Scootaloo's reminiscence. She smiled - a moony, perpetually bemused simper - and began a slow march toward her outspoken critic. The floorboards creaked under her measured footfall, scurrying children under their desks as it passed by; but the brazen Scootaloo stood her ground.

Gilda cast a shroud over the filly as she arrived at her desk; she turned down her head, and snarled:

"You think you're_ so _cool."

Planting her forehooves on the desk, Scootaloo propped herself up to face Gilda. Her friends' hearts sank as they perceived the distinct sound of percolating pony saliva, as the griffin looked on with owl-like curiousity; with a small wind-up, Scootaloo hawked a mucus projectile that splattered, with honed precision, directly in Gilda's face.

Gilda wiped off the spit running down her cheeks, and shook her head. "Wrong answer, dude." She brought a massive fist down on the desk, smashing it to pieces, and sending Scootaloo tumbling backward.

"Scootaloo!" her friends cried.

Scootaloo lay injured on the ground with scraps of school furniture wreckage. "ah!" she winced as she tried to pull herself up. "_No_..." she groaned. "...my chess-playing arm!"

Gilda watched Scootaloo writhe with a sadistic grin, and pilfered another apple off of a nearby desk. "...And that's just a _taste_ of what will happen when we finally put piece to plank!"

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged despairing looks.

"...The only moves you've got," Scootaloo coughed, struggling, "belong in the Lobster-Quadrille."

"Ha!" Gilda snorted in reply. "I'm surprised you haven't got a cutie mark for being such a _sharp wit_," she seethed as she leaned over, grabbing the wounded filly up by the nape. "Enjoy it while you can, though, because it won't matter come tournament time..." She brought Scootaloo nose-to-nose, and raised up the apple. "Kid, I hope you're ready for a little _serious chess_... cause I'm ready to chow down!"

She crammed the apple down her gullet, devouring it in one bite.

"And that's basically it," Scootaloo vouched with a shrug, finishing her account; a sudden lull in the conversation revealed a cell phone ringing amidst the company.

"Oh, hold on!" piped Applebloom.

"...Hello? why, yes, this is Applebloom Apple! ...Yes, that's right, all the information should be in the press release... Oh, could you excuse me a quick second?" she pressed the receiver against her shoulder and turned apologetically to the party. "Sorry ya'll, I gotta go take this - you know, _important business_," she winked. "...Uh-huh... Yes, if you could get it to me by the weekend... I'd like to send it out to the Ponyville Express, Monday morning..."

Applejack, who had hitherto been a silent auditor, was the first speak up: "So... you need us to... build a barn for the chess tournament...?" she asked uneasily, casting quick glances at the others for reassurance.

Scootaloo sighed patiently. "We need someone to take my place in the tournament to beat Gilda and help me get my cutie mark for_ coaching _a chess champion. Though the barn thing would _also_ be nice," she added.

Applejack started up. "Girls, listen-" her ears twitched as she went to speak, and she balked. Breaking out into a pace, she stewed: "you know, _when I was a filly_... I-I didn't worry too much about this 'cutie mark' business. I just listened to my family and followed a rainbow home, and I did _just fine_! I wasn't... spittin' on folks, or tryin' to meet deadlines..."

"Sorry," Scootaloo replied, "I know I let my love of the game cloud my judgment, but..."

"Girls," Twilight interceded, "I think what Applejack is getting at is that, in your mad pursuit of your ambitions, you don't stop to think about how the consequences of your actions will affect others."

"Okay, one near-demolishment of the fabric of space-time," Scootaloo owned.

"Not just _that_!" rejoined Applejack, trotting over. "I go _out of my way _to get you three a clubhouse, and what's the first thing we get from you in return? You put on some kind of weird... _Pat Benatar _concert..." she said squeamishly, "in front of _all_ of Ponyville! Now, how am I s'posed to explain that to Big Macintosh?"

"I hate to say it, girls," Rarity put in sympathetically, "but Twilight and Applejack are right - you three _do_ have a tendency to get carried away with things..."

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle adopted a stooped silence.

"It was entertaining at first," said Pinkie Pie, "but _geez_! ..._Geez louise_!" she scolded. "...God."

"It was _never_ entertaining!" hollered Rainbow Dash, flying over. "I've been tired of _your_ antics since day one!" she griped, thrusting a hoof at Scootaloo.

"...Day one?"

"And _you_!" Rainbow Dash turned her attention to Sweetie Belle. "I don't even _know_ who you are, but you_ look _annoying."

"I'm Rarity's_ sister_, Sweetie Belle...? Don't you remember me?"

"Rarity does_ not _have a sister all of the sudden," chafed Rainbow Dash. "That would be _insane_. Now if you'll excuse me, I have 'important business' to attend to in my cloud palace thing," she mocked, turning to go.

"Oh," Fluttershy's voice wavered in, "do you have to feed your pet tortise? Or, um, maybe you're hosting another _dangerous _psychopath from your past? I'm sure it's a good reason..." she tapered off, kicking at a patch of dirt.

"Please, listen!" Scootaloo pleaded a final time.

"Sorry girls," Twilight stood up, "but you're not going to learn _anything _about taking responsibility for your own choices if we keep bailing you out. Let's go, everyone."

Twilight and her friends got up and made thier departure from the picnic. "Man, I thought this meeting would _never_ get out!" Pinkie Pie groused as they passed by the gaping Scootaloo.

"-But... but... n'oh," she sighed.

Feeling bereaved of an agreeable course of action, and slightly contrite, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sulked in the remaining silence.

"Yes... thank you, 'I look forward to following up with you on this'." Applebloom hung up her phone. "What'd I miss?"

Thus had Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom painted out the dilemma for their friends; and, having met with forbearance and disquiet concern, made a crestfallen trek back to their headquarters (a folksy clubhouse nicknamed "the Technodrome" - "we should think about putting a giant eyeball on top of it," Scootaloo once half-joked) - in the heart of Sweet Apple Acres, across its orange-strident gloaming vales. It was almost nightfall by the time the three fillies filed through the door.

"Well,_ that _didn't go well!" scowled Sweetie Belle, entering first. "'Take responsibility for your own choices'...? what the heck kind of response was _that_?!"

"_Man_!" spat Scootaloo, following behind. "Remember when they didn't want to leave us alone without a foalsitter?"

"Ah haven't even been home in three days!" Applebloom panted.

"Well, what are we going to do_ now_?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We can't just go on without Scootaloo."

Scootaloo trotted past and hoisted herself doggedly (with her good arm) onto a workbench in a far corner of the room, reposing there sullenly, as though nothing had been said.

"I mean..." Sweetie Belle continued tentatively, "_what if we wind up getting our cutie marks without her_?" she whispered to Applebloom.

"At the same time," she returned, "with the roles you and Ah have taken on for the big day, everythin' would fall apart if we backed out now! We'd be lettin' all of _Ponyville_ down! What would my sister and her friends say about _that_?" she countered.

"But we made a _promise_ to each other! Our desire to get our cutie marks is what brought us together in the first place, and we should _get_ them together!"

"Hey, look," Scootaloo interjected from her seat, "it's no big deal, okay? You two should totally go for it! If you guys get your cutie marks, well... that's a book win as far as I'm concerned!"

Sweetie Belle frowned, then asked: "but who stands a chance against Gilda if you're on the sidelines, anyways?"

Scootaloo hopped down from the stool. "...Hey, you know what? There's gotta be someone out there willing to be my protègè! we haven't asked everyone just yet! there's always... _Zecora_..." she winced.

A pall descended on the room.

Scootaloo sighed. "Man... what _are_ we going to do?"

Suddenly, the clubhouse shook from the boom of a nearby thunderclap, scaring a high-pitched yelp from Sweetie Belle - the girls clustered together in a fright.

"W-what was that?" asked the former, momentarily shaken.

"What the..." Scootaloo recovered quickly. "There were no storm clouds when we were outside..."

"Maybe it's the answer to our prayers!" proffered Applebloom.

"Hmm..."

Outside, a figure zipped by the open front door, billowing a melànge of foliage in through the fenestrations of the clubhouse - Scootaloo and the girls were forced to shield themselves as they were buffeted with flying debris.

"W-what's going on here?!" cried Scootaloo, coughing up a leaf. "...Is that you, Applejack?!"

The maelstrom yielded to the raucous guffaw of their assailant, who lighted from flight by the doorway. "Man, what a bunch of _goobers_ you guys are!" she laughed.

"Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed the Crusaders; they rushed forward and tackled her with a collective hug at the door.

"You were expecting, maybe, the Addams Family?" she quipped, returning their embrace.

"Not this time!" beamed Scootaloo.

"But Rainbow Dash," Applebloom drew back after the moment had passed, "what brings you all the way out here to the Technodrome?"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle accorded. "after the railing you gave us back at the picnic, I figured you wouldn't even want to be seen _near_ us!"

"Well..." Rainbow thought for a moment, "I don't. But that's not gonna stop me from entering this totally awesome chess tournament!"

The Crusaders swapped puzzled countenances.

"But... you _do_ want to help us, right?" Sweetie Belle probed further.

"Of course!" Rainbow replied, noogieing Applebloom. "...Allow me to drop some 'science' on ya..." she said coolly as she got up and trotted to the center of the room to give her presentation:

"You guys know how loyal I am," she began. "It's like... a fact. But _loyalty_ isn't the same thing as _honesty_. _Honesty_ is about telling the truth._ Loyalty_," she explained, motioning at her rainbow-lightning cutie mark, "is about doing whatever you want but apologizing for it afterwards."

"Isn't that just_ reckless_?" asked Scootaloo.

"Was it _reckless _for me to defend Fluttershy's honor as a filly in Cloudsdale, even though I didn't know what happened to her for like two years after?"

"She _did_ get her cutie mark from that..." Sweetie Belle acknowledged, reminded again of her and her friends' own predicament.

"Right!" Rainbow continued. "See, it's all about politics with Twilight and those guys. Drink a few juice boxes here, read a book or two there... That's why I had to pretend to be such an egghead back at the picnic. But I know when my loyal services are needed, and I'm here to offer them at you!"

"Wow... so you'll do it?" Scootaloo grinned, anticipating the answer.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Kid, if Gilda thinks _she's_ getting that ride from Spitfire, she's got another thing coming!"

Hooray! cheered the Crusaders. With Rainbow Dash's involvement (however qualified), all plans now seemed in order: Applebloom and Sweetie Belle would now be able to dedicate themselves unreservedly to their roles as promoter and facilitator, respectively; and Scootaloo, though indisposed to participate as a competitor in the tournament, could vindicate herself against Gilda by mentoring her rival to chess glory.

"We'll need to get started right away," she fretted, the task at hand now taking on newly realistic implications. "_First thing _tomorrow morning. I'll need to teach you everything I know if we're going to beat Gilda..."

"_Relax_, kid..." Rainbow reassured her, "by the time this is all over, the only thing _she's_ getting is a Queen _Lame-o _promotion!"; she hesitated. "...That's like, when you get a pawn to the end of the board, right?"


End file.
